Your Glass Isn't Half Empty
Why the bravest people see what's really there, not what's missing
This Week’s Courage Newsletter
"People who describe the glass as half full are not delusional optimists. In fact, they are more based in reality because they are describing a substance that is actually in the glass." - Benjamin & Rosamund Zander
Why seeing what's there (not what isn't) changes everything
Scare Your Soul Challenge: The Reality Revolution
Bottom line: True courage means focusing on what's present, not what's missing
Dear Courageous Souls (and Reality-Seekers),
"Here's what you need to watch out for..."
The phrase caught my ear as I squeezed past two employees in an impossibly cramped vintage clothing store in Notting Hill.
My daughter Teilah and I were on day three of a five-day London adventure, and this store felt different than dozens we had popped our heads in.
This one was a kaleidoscope of colors, patterns, and decades colliding in a kind of organized chaos.
The older employee was training someone new, her voice carrying that universal tone of someone about to list all the things that could possibly go wrong.
I couldn't help but smile.
Years ago, I was that trainer, standing in my office in Cleveland, orientation manual in hand, telling a new hire at my real estate company about all the pitfalls, problems, and potential disasters they needed to avoid.
"Watch out for this..." "Be careful of that..." "Make sure this doesn't happen..."
It's funny how we think we're being helpful when we focus on what's missing, what could go wrong, what isn't there. We call it being "realistic."
Practical.
But what if we've got it exactly backwards?
Benjamin and Rosamund Zander point out something fascinating about optimists - they're actually the true realists.
When they see a glass as half full, they're describing something that actually exists: the water in the glass. The cynics, focusing on the empty space?
They're the ones obsessing over something that isn't even there.
Think about the last time you were about to do something brave:
"I'd love to start my own business, but I don't have enough experience..." (Translation: focusing on the knowledge you don't have instead of the decade of skills you do have)
"I want to join that dance class, but I don't have the right body type..." (Translation: focusing on some imaginary "perfect" body instead of the perfectly good one you're living in)
"I should reach out to that person, but I don't have the right words..." (Translation: focusing on some mythical "perfect" phrase instead of the authentic ones right there in your heart)
We're masters at focusing on the empty part of the glass.
It's like having a closet full of clothes and declaring "I have nothing to wear!"
But here's what's wild: The most courageous people I know aren't the ones with no fears, perfect conditions, or complete certainty.
They're the ones who got really good at seeing what's actually there:
The woman who launched her podcast not because she had fancy equipment (she didn't), but because she had stories worth telling (she did)
The guy in my yoga class who shows up in sweats because he doesn't have "proper" yoga clothes yet, but knows he has a body that can move
A dear friend, who ordered her first meal in mangled French in Paris last week, focusing on the words she knew rather than the ones she didn't
This Week's Scare Your Soul Challenge: The Reality Revolution
For the next 24 hours, become a detective of what's actually there. Here's how:
Catch yourself every time you say or think "I don't have..." or "I'm not..." or "If only I had..."
Immediately flip it to name three things you DO have in that situation.
Example: Instead of: "I don't have enough experience for that promotion..." Try: "I have four years in this industry, strong relationships with our clients, and fresh ideas that could help the team."
The trick? Try not to focus on what’s missing.
Only what's actually, already, right there in your glass.
Will it feel weird? Probably.
Will your brain try to drift back to the empty space? Absolutely.
Will you start seeing possibilities you missed before?
That's the magic.
With courage and really good vintage finds,
P.S. What did you discover was actually there all along? Share your Reality Revolution moments with me - I read every reply.