What's Your "Play Personality?"
When We Stop Playing, We Stop Living
This Week’s Courage Newsletter
"We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing." - George Bernard Shaw
Why embracing playfulness might be the ultimate act of courage
Understanding your unique play personality
Scare Your Soul Challenge: The Play Revival Challenge
Bottom line: Play isn't frivolous—it's essential for well-being, creativity, and resilience
Dear Courageous Souls (and Hesitant Players),
I had a bittersweet moment recently:
Finally cleaning out my son's closet—removing the Pokemon and Wii Guitar Hero posters—now that he's heading off to medical school.
As I was sorting through the remnants of his childhood, an old box tucked in the back of the closet tipped over, and suddenly I was sitting amid a deluge of colorful Lego bricks cascading across the floor.
Instead of immediately sweeping them up, something unexpected happened.
I found myself picking up pieces, connecting them, seeing what emerged.
Before I knew it, an hour had passed with me sprawled on the floor, occasionally launching into spontaneous sound effects when my creation "flew" through the air.
It had been years—decades, really—since I'd given myself permission to play like this.
No purpose.
No outcome.
No goal.
Just pure, unadulterated play.
Why is this worth sharing in a newsletter about courage?
Because somewhere along the way to adulthood, most of us became convinced that play is a luxury, a distraction, or worse—a waste of time.
And that, my friends, might be one of the most dangerous myths we've internalized.
The research is staggering.
According to the National Institute for Play, engaging in play throughout our lifetime has profound benefits for our physical, mental, and social well-being. When we play, our brains release dopamine and endorphins. We become more resilient to stress and more adaptable to change.
We form new neural connections.
Yet as adults, we engage in less than 17 minutes of true play per day.
Think about that.
Seventeen minutes.
The rest of our time is consumed by productivity, obligations, and "leisure activities" that often aren't truly playful at all (looking at you, doomscrolling).
This strikes me as a crisis of courage.
We're afraid to look silly. Afraid to be unproductive.
Afraid to let go of control.
Afraid to be fully, authentically ourselves.
Dr. Stuart Brown, founder of the National Institute for Play, puts it this way:
"Play is not a luxury—it's a necessity."
Regular play throughout life makes us more creative, more socially connected, more adaptable, and—perhaps most importantly—more joyful.
What's Your Play Personality?
One of the most fascinating discoveries from Dr. Brown's research is that we all have different "play personalities" – natural preferences for how we enjoy playing. Understanding your play style can help you reclaim play in ways that feel authentic and joyful to you. Here are the eight play personalities he identified:
The Collector – Finds joy in gathering and organizing objects or experiences. Think of Jay Leno with his car collection. If you love collecting vinyl records, stamps, or even digital achievements, you might be a Collector.
The Competitor – Thrives on the challenge of games and contests. They love keeping score and the thrill of winning (think Tom Brady). If board games, sports, or beating your personal best gets your heart racing, you're likely a Competitor.
The Creator/Artist – Delights in making things. These are the painters, LEGO builders, and DIYers like Steve Jobs who find play in creative expression. If you lose yourself in crafting, cooking, or building, this might be you.
The Director – Enjoys planning and executing scenarios. These are the party planners, game masters, and organizers like Oprah Winfrey who find joy in orchestrating experiences for others.
The Explorer – Lives for the thrill of discovery. Whether physically (travel, hiking) or mentally (reading, researching), Explorers like Jonas Salk play by venturing into new territories.
The Joker – Embraces the absurd and finds humor everywhere. The class clown, the prankster, the stand-up comedian like Ali Wong – if laughter is your medicine, you might be a Joker.
The Mover/Kinesthete – Experiences joy through physical movement. Like Serena Williams, these players love to run, dance, hike, or swim. If you've ever said "I think better when I'm moving," this might be you.
The Storyteller – Creates and shares narratives. Whether through writing, acting, or just spinning a good yarn like Greta Gerwig, Storytellers play with words and characters.
Most of us are a blend of several styles, but one usually predominates.
Which one sounds most like you?
So here's my invitation to you this week:
What if you approached life more playfully?
And what aspects of your life could benefit from a dose of playfulness?
This Week's Scare Your Soul Challenge: The Play Revival Challenge
Identify your primary play personality. Reflect on which of the eight types resonates most with you, and choose a play activity that aligns with your natural style.
Schedule 30 minutes of TRUE play this week. Not exercise disguised as play. Not productive hobbies. Just pure, purposeless play that matches your play personality. Build something with your hands. Draw without judgment. Have a pillow fight. Dance like nobody's watching (even if someone is).
Notice what stops you from playing. When you feel resistance, get curious. What voices in your head are telling you to "be productive" or "act your age"? Thank them for their concern—then play anyway.
Find a play partner. Invite someone to play with you—a friend, your kids, your partner, even a pet. Play is contagious, and it's even more powerful when shared.
Share your experience. Email me at scott@scareyoursoul.com and tell me about your play personality, what you played with, and how it felt. Did you notice any shifts in your mood, creativity, or outlook?
Remember: Play isn't childish—it's child-like. And reclaiming that sense of wonder, curiosity, and joy might be one of the bravest things you do all year.
With courage, playfulness, and a newfound appreciation for Legos,
Scott
By the way … 160 of you took our Scare Your Soul courage quiz last week - THANK YOU! You're part of an incredible group that's helping us understand the collective courage journey.
If you haven't taken it yet, just click below!
P.S. Which play personality resonates most with you? Reply to this email with your play style, and I'll share the most interesting responses next week!
P.P.S. This June, I'm co-leading an extraordinary journey to Peru's Sacred Valley with just 10 courage seekers. If solo travel excites you (like 49% of our quiz takers!), this might be your perfect courage challenge. Email me at scott@scareyoursoul.com to learn more about this once-in-a-lifetime adventure (June 15-21, 2024). Some journeys are worth taking, even when they scare us! ✨
