Unleashing the Magic of Unexpected Kindness
What a "red coat" taught me about how he connects with thousands every week
“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” ― Ian MacLaren
Greetings, Scare Your Soul Community,
I’m writing this newsletter from an unexpected place—sitting in the open lounge of a hospital waiting area while a loved one receives care. I’m perched on a hard plastic chair inside a hospital waiting room, finding tiny pockets of wifi.
It’s been a long couple of days filled with anxiety, grief, uncomfortable chairs, and very little sleep.
Life can take sudden turns and now here I am - hunkering down beside my loved ones, inhaling hospital coffee like it’s my new job, meeting doctors and nurses who apparently don’t require sleep.
I hesitated to write this week's newsletter, given the circumstances, but I've been reminded, once again, that even within these walls, courageous acts shine like beacons in the darkness.
Here at the Cleveland Clinic, I've encountered volunteers in their "red coats" who navigate lost visitors through this sprawling complex.
One individual, Alejandro, stands out. His warm smile, genuine connections, and comforting presence are a source of solace for patients and their families.
I had the privilege of asking Alejandro about his secret for authentically greeting thousands of people each week.
His answer was simple yet profound—look into their eyes, offer a warm smile, and share a genuine compliment about something in that very moment.
I watched him do this effortlessly as people hurried to appointments or paused to seek his assistance.
With each interaction, he made their days a little brighter.
The Power of Unexpected Kindness
“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.”
— Dalai Lama
Research tells us that over 75% of people experience heightened positive emotions, including joy, when they receive a heartfelt compliment from a stranger. What's more, offering compliments has a reciprocal effect—it uplifts not only the recipient but also the giver.
Yet, many of us hesitate to offer compliments.
We fear coming across as strange, insincere, or overly familiar.
We grapple with the worry that our gestures will be misinterpreted.
But what we perceive as risky, others may genuinely experience as thoughtful, pleasantly surprising, even profoundly moving.
Heartfelt compliments, given without expectation, can fulfill a deep need in both the giver and the receiver.
My Own Story of Complimenting Strangers
“It takes courage to be kind.”
— Maya Angelou
I’ll admit it—I’m sometimes afraid to offer unsolicited compliments for fear people would react badly or I’d come across as awkward (or possibly worse)!
Inspired by Alejandro's warmth and generosity, I decided to challenge myself during my hospital stay.
I pushed past my own mental barriers and embraced the opportunity to brighten someone's day.
Today, I offered compliments to strangers I encountered throughout the hospital.
A young woman juggling coffee, bags, and a crying toddler received a heartfelt compliment, and her smile shone like a beacon of hope.
“Hey there, looks like you’ve got a lot going on! You’re handling it beautifully!” I said.
She looked at me wide-eyed for a second, then gave a huge smile. “Wow, thanks so much! I really needed to hear that today.”
A friendly woman named Rhonda behind the counter received a genuine compliment on her smile, and her laughter echoed through the room.
As she handed me chocolate chip cookies to take to the neurology floor, I said, “Thank you so much, Rhonda. By the way, you have an incredible smile!”
Rhonda let out a laugh. “Well aren’t you a sweet talker! But it’s true - long days don’t seem so long when I get to visit with nice folks like you.”
These experiences kickstarted a day filled with heartfelt compliments to anyone and everyone I met—whether it was the family in the neuro ICU, the kind night nurse named Maddy, the quiet gentleman cleaning up a spill, or the fellow in the Cleveland Browns sweatshirt beside me in the communal sitting room.
This Week’s Scare Your Soul Challenge: Offer Heartfelt Compliments
“Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness.”
— Seneca
As I continue my daily practice of offering heartfelt compliments, I invite you to join me in this week's Scare Your Soul challenge. Challenge yourself to give one genuine compliment each day to someone you encounter—anyone!
Take note of the profound effects it has on both the recipient and yourself. Feel the warmth and connection that arise between you.
Then, keep spreading light through more kindness and courageous compliments.
Imagine if we all embraced this practice as a part of our daily lives, freely sharing authentic appreciation.
How might it heal and transform our world, one human connection at a time?
In courage and blessings,
Hi Scott.
Remember some of the things I sent you mentioned "death cafes?"
I found out that a bar called "No Class" in Edgewater is holding a death cafe next month, and thought I would let you know in case you wanted to attend,
I believe it is the evening of Feb. 7. You can find their website online.
Something new to feature in your newsletter.
Best,
Jeff Barge