When I walked through the stained glass double doors and into the vast timber-lined hall of the yoga retreat center, I was pissed.
I was probably the ONLY person with such a bad attitude in this sea of lithe, shoeless positivity.
While others were practicing yoga with some of the finest instructors, I was being relegated to my “second choice” program: a professor talking about psychology for the entire weekend.
But when Harvard professor Tal Ben Shahar entered the room - 5"‘7, quiet, humble - and started to speak about the power we all have to be happier, I knew it was a Sliding Door moment.
My world had changed.
The lessons I learned that weekend - and subsequently going back and studying with Tal - are in my bones now. They have become me, and I have become them.
The hedonic treadmill. Benefit-finding. Gratitude visits. Growth mindsets. The upward spiral. Micro-resilience.
And one lesson I learned so deeply - and needed the most, probably - was about this:
Self-love.
You see, in today's society, many of us fall into the trap of measuring our self-worth by comparing ourselves to others. Unfortunately, we often use measuring sticks that don't truly reflect our value as human beings. Here are just a few of the top factors that people commonly use to measure their self-worth:
Appearance: We live in a culture that places a high value on physical beauty. We're bombarded with images of "perfect" bodies, and it's easy to start believing that our worth is tied to how closely we match that ideal.
Money: We often equate financial success with personal worth. We believe that if we have more money, we must be more valuable as people.
Social status: Some of us judge ourselves and others based on who we know and how well-connected we are. We believe that our value is tied to the people we associate with and the doors they can open for us.
Career: We tend to put a lot of weight on what we do for a living. We believe that certain jobs are more prestigious or important than others, and we judge ourselves and others accordingly.
But the truth is … none of these things actually lead to a flourishing life.
What does?
To courageously love ourselves.
That’s the bedrock.
The foundation stones for our ability to love others. Serve others. Confidently navigate life’s journey.
And it all starts with remember how truly spectacular we are.
Which is an act, my friend, of supreme courage.
This week’s courage challenge: Glory Boarding
Danielle LaPorte, in her fantastic book The Firestarter Sessions, shares an exercise that is life-changing. It’s called Glory Boarding.
She says:
Sing your praises. If you’re feeling too shy to blow your own horn, answer like your BFF or the person who loves you most would answer … this is your resume of wonder.
I loved this exercise so much that, when I wrote the Scare Your Soul book, I paid homage to Danielle. I riffed off of her original idea and wrote the following set of prompts for your own “resume of wonder.”
You can access an quick online Glory Boarding form here:
Or, rock it old-school.
Write out the following in your journal.
The prompt starts with “In the past year, I …”
Learned:
Transformed:
Created:
Gave:
Inspired:
Studied:
Won:
Saw:
Wrote:
Connected:
Found:
Taught:
Led:
Built:
Opened:
Wowed:
Closed:
Developed:
Shared:
Healed:
Go ahead, sing your praises.
It’s time …
Sharing your Success
How did you feel after this week’s challenge? What unknown did you embrace? Let us know on Facebook and Instagram! Use hashtags #scareyoursoul and #mycouragemoment.
OR E-mail me at scott@scareyoursoul.com to let me know how your experiences went this week. What did you do? How did it go?