Beyond the Digital Buzz: Finding Yourself in the Silence
The surprising transformation that happens when you put your phone down
This Week’s Courage Newsletter
"Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you." - Anne Lamott
Why stepping away from the digital noise might be the bravest act of all
Scare Your Soul Challenge: The 12-Hour Sacred Disconnect
Bottom line: Sometimes the clearest path forward appears only when you stop looking at your screen
Dear Courageous Souls (and Digital Detoxers),
A couple of weeks ago, I shared a story about a moment that stopped me in my tracks — when the name Rabbi Robbie Schaefer appeared in my inbox, nearly 20 years after his music had carried my family through one of the most difficult chapters of our lives.
If you missed that story of synchronicity and full-circle magic, you can read it here.
Well… I went to the retreat. And what happened there left a mark I didn't expect.
Let's start with a moment that's almost embarrassing to admit:
When I turned my phone back on after those three days, I felt something I didn't see coming: disgust.
Not at anyone or anything in particular. Just… at the flood.
The tidal wave of pings, ads, likes, and endless things demanding my attention.
But something in me had shifted.
Because I had shifted.
You know what didn't happen when I unplugged? The world didn't end. No emergency required my immediate response. No "urgent" email actually was. It's amazing how many five-alarm fires turn out to be just smoke when you're not constantly checking for sparks.
Before the retreat, my brain felt like it was juggling a hundred open browser tabs.
Most weren't urgent or important. But I couldn't bring myself to close any of them. The noise was constant. And I didn't realize how much of it I'd internalized — until it all stopped.
I'd traveled to a quiet retreat in Virginia, one exploring the intersection of Jewish and Buddhist thought. I didn't know what I'd find. I only knew that something in me said, Go.
I didn't expect what happened next.
For three days, I lived without my phone. I went to bed at 9:30, woke with the sun, and journaled before the day began. I practiced walking meditations where the instruction was: "Let your feet kiss the ground."
I sang. I sat in silence in the meditation hall.
And slowly, the buzz in my brain began to quiet.
I realized something ironic during those three days: when I stopped giving my attention to everything, I could finally give my full attention to anything. It's like my mind had been serving appetizers to a hundred guests when what it really wanted was to cook one magnificent meal.
But the most surprising part wasn't what I did — it was what happened inside me.
For the first time in a long time, I wasn't just thinking.
I was feeling.
I could finally hear myself think.
No, that's not quite right. I could finally hear myself feel.
By day three, I caught a glimpse of someone I hadn't seen in a while – me. Not the me that's constantly responding, reacting, and performing for the digital world. Just... me. The version that exists when no one is watching, liking, or commenting. He's quieter than I remembered, but has much more interesting things to say.
What I noticed most wasn't just what I heard in the silence — it was how people changed without their phones.
But by day three, the masks had dropped.
We weren't networking or posturing.
We were connecting. Soul to soul. Human to human.
Without the constant distraction of devices, conversations went deeper faster. It's remarkable how quickly we move from small talk to soul talk when we can't escape to our phones during those uncomfortable silence gaps. Turns out, those gaps aren't obstacles to connection – they're doorways.
One night, we sang our way across a field under a velvet sky toward a Shabbat dinner. And somehow, it didn't feel strange. It felt like coming home to something ancient and real.
I'm not saying we should all abandon technology. (Let's be honest — I'm writing this on a MacBook.) But I am wondering…
What happens in the sacred space between notifications?
What might you hear — or feel — if your phone went dark for 12 hours?
The science is clear: Even the mere presence of a phone — powered off, sitting silently beside us — reduces our cognitive function. It narrows attention. It crowds out reflection.
But this isn't just about productivity.
It's about presence.
It's about making room for the voice inside you that's quieter than a notification but far more important.
It's about creating space…for magic.
The strangest part? Three days without a phone somehow felt longer than a week with one. Not in a "watching paint dry" way, but in a "wait, I had time to watch the sunrise AND have a meaningful conversation AND read a chapter AND still take a nap?" way.
Seems Einstein was right – time really is relative, especially to how we spend our attention.
This Week's Scare Your Soul Challenge: The 12-Hour Sacred Disconnect
Here's your invitation:
For 12 waking hours, go device-free.
Phone off. Laptop closed. Tablet tucked away.
If that feels impossible, try one of these:
No devices from dinner to breakfast
A "Screen Sabbath" from Friday night to Saturday morning
A half-day outdoors with nothing but a notebook
Then, notice:
What emotions surface?
What are you tempted to distract yourself from?
What thoughts rise to the top once the noise dies down?
What real-world connection happens that wouldn't have otherwise?
This isn't about perfection. It's about permission.
To step back. To tune in. To hear yourself again.
By the way … 160 of you took our Scare Your Soul courage quiz last week - THANK YOU! You're part of an incredible group that's helping us understand the collective courage journey.
If you haven't taken it yet, just click below!
P.S. What's your biggest fear of rejection? Email me at scott@scareyoursoul.com. I'd love to hear your story – and maybe feature it (anonymously) in a future newsletter!
P.P.S. Speaking of facing fears... This June, I'm co-leading an extraordinary journey to Peru's Sacred Valley with just 10 courage seekers. If solo travel excites you (like 49% of our quiz takers!), this might be your perfect courage challenge. Email me at scott@scareyoursoul.com to learn more about this once-in-a-lifetime adventure (June 15-21, 2024). Some journeys are worth taking, even when they scare us! ✨
