Between Stimulus and Response…There is a Story
Sometimes our biggest act of courage is questioning our stories
This Week’s Courage Newsletter
"We are not what happened to us, we are what we choose to become." - Carl Jung
Why the stories we tell ourselves shape our courage
Scare Your Soul Challenge: The Story Awareness Challenge
Bottom line: Sometimes the biggest act of courage is questioning the stories we've always believed about ourselves
Dear Courageous Souls (and Fellow Storytellers),
This parable from Anthony de Mello hits me right in the gut every time I read it:
A man found an eagle's egg and put it in a nest of a barnyard hen. The eaglet hatched with the brood of chickens and grew up with them.
All his life, the eagle did what the barnyard chicks did, thinking he was a barnyard chicken. He scratched the earth for worms and insects. He clucked and cackled. And he would thrash his wings and fly a few feet into the air.
Years passed and the eagle grew very old.
One day he saw a magnificent bird above him in the cloudless sky.
It glided in graceful majesty among the powerful wind currents, with scarcely a beat of its strong golden wings.
The old eagle looked up in awe. "Who's that?" he asked.
"That's the eagle, the king of the birds," said his neighbor. "He belongs to the sky. We belong to the earth—we're chickens."
So the eagle lived and died a chicken, for that's what he thought he was.
Here's a fun fact: I spent decades thinking I was a chicken. (Stick with me here...)
I've been that eagle, scratching in the dirt when I was meant to soar.
I was a painfully shy kid.
I was living out a story I'd been told (and told myself) about who I was and what I was capable of.
"You're too sensitive."
"You're not a natural speaker."
"Stay quiet and don't draw attention."
These weren't just thoughts - they were the script I lived by.
My personal chicken coop, if you will.
The brilliant Viktor Frankl once said, "Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response."
But here's what I've learned in my journey from that shy kid to standing on stages worldwide:
Between stimulus and response, there's a STORY.
A story we've been telling ourselves for years, maybe decades.
Stories about not being enough, not being worthy, not being capable.
Think about it: When someone gives you critical feedback, what's the first story that plays in your head? When you're about to take a risk, what tale does your inner narrator start spinning?
Just last week, before a major speaking engagement, I caught myself rehearsing an old story: "You're not qualified to be here."
But this time, I noticed something different. I noticed the story.
And that's the first step to changing it.
But - and this is the beautiful part - we can create new pathways.
We can write new stories.
This week's Scare Your Soul Challenge: The Story Awareness Challenge
This week's courage challenge is simple but powerful:
Slow down. When you feel that flutter of anxiety or that knot of stress, pause.
Label the feeling. "I'm feeling nervous" or "I'm feeling inadequate."
Ask yourself: "What story am I telling myself right now?"
Channel your inner detective. Seriously - grab an imaginary magnifying glass and investigate that story like it's the plot twist in a mystery novel.
You don't have to rewrite your whole narrative overnight. Just start noticing the stories.
Because awareness?
That's where transformation begins.
Remember: You might be living like a chicken when you were born to soar.
The sky isn't just for "other" eagles - it's where you belong too.
With courage, curiosity, and a whole new story to tell,
P.P.S. Speaking of courageous transformations... Ready to take your journey from tiny rebellions to epic adventure? This June, I'm co-leading an intimate group of courage-seekers to Peru's Sacred Valley for a life-changing retreat. Picture yourself practicing courage surrounded by ancient Incan wisdom, majestic mountains, and a community of fellow souls ready to grow. From luxury accommodations to traditional ceremonies, every detail is designed to help you step into your most courageous self.
Only 10 spaces available for this once-in-a-lifetime journey (June 15-21, 2024).
Ready to turn your tiny rebellions into mountain-sized transformation? Email me at scott@scareyoursoul.com to learn more.
